21st Century Schizoid Man by Mark Williams

In paraphrasing a song title by dreadful old post-hippy pomp-rockers, King Crimson, you may rightly deduce from the above headline that I am a very old and very sad individual... and you would be right. But then if you recognised the reference too, what does that make you, dear reader?! Mutual embarrassment aside, schizophrenia is however what I've been wrestling with for much of this fag-end of our summer. Nothing surprising about that, you may cruelly sneer, but in fact it's something we might all do well to consider, at least motorcycling-wise. Indeed for once in my life I can even claim it is important because it stems from something I actually wrote. Not, I'm afraid, for Trader, but for that sprauncey upstart of the mainstream motorcycle media, Two Wheels Only. In July's issue I'd written a piece extolling the considerable virtues of high speed motorbicycling along the ultra-scenic and lightly-trafficked roads of mid-Wales: just a harmless bit of tub-thumbing for local tourism suggesting where owners of sporty machinery might get their jollies. But the article instantly provoked po-faced outrage from one of the local newspapers (possibly harbouring an ancient grudge harking back to my editorship of its major, and more successful competitor), who quoted recent accident statistics, and some stern comment from the local rozzers, to justify thundering on about journalistic irresponsibility. Well I'm no stranger to irresponsible journalism of course, linking the fact that eight bikers had been killed in mid-Wales so far this year with an article detailing some of the roads they sadly lost their lives on is, I think, a bit rich. The gist of the newspaper's front page fury, although it was something the police spokesman prudently sidestepped, was that my article explicitly encouraged riders to break speed limits (which it didn't) and mentioned where mobile speed cameras occasionally entrapped speed-bandits (which it did).

T.W.O's editor, Bertie Simmonds, then did what any self-respecting editor would do, namely complained loudly that neither the magazine nor I had been contacted by the newspaper beforehand and then promptly invited a representative of the Dyfed-Powys Police along for a meeting. The rep. in question was actually a biker himself and his views on my piece were generally quite balanced, but concluded: 'had Mark been aware of the high number of rider fatalities, along with the effects that each death has on (their) families, he might have approached the subject with a little more caution.' Which I thought was a little facile because every time I go out on a bike I'm well aware of the potential danger to life and limb and so, I hope, is any half-smart T.W.O. reader. So that didn't prompt any schizoid self-loathing on my part. In a subsequent edition of T.W.O., and echoing the indignation of a few other publicity-hungry local politicos, the Mayor of Llandrindod Wells added his two penn'orth by quoting the aforementioned reference to speed cameras and my warning that sheep wander into the road on Penybont Common as 'an incitement to high, dangerous speeds by motorcyclists' (!). Well leaving aside the fact that Llandrindod Wells derives much of its tourist income from motorcycling (e.g. the Welsh 2-Day Enduro), that really was stronging it a bit... but therein lies the rub. Have we reached the point where anyone who uses a motor vehicle to go out and break speed limits is to be roundly pilloried by society? And does it therefore follow that a journalist writing about them, an advertising copywriter charged with flogging them or, for that matter, bar room pundits talking up the performance potential of these shiny new machines is acting against the greater public interest? Well that would seem to be the sub-text of what the angry burghers and hypocritical hacks of mid-Wales were banging on about. And can it only be coincidence in recent weeks garish temporary roads signs have appeared locally featuring a stencilled motorcyclist announcing that there've been '62 Crashes This Year', (but strangely enough, no mention of car, truck or wheelbarrow accidents)? But if it is indeed the case that society at large now regards exceeding speed limits as grossly reprehensible, rather than something a little bit naughty that most of us do when we can get away with it, then it's tough times ahead for the bike trade.

We have of course been here before: mandatory helmets, front number plates and stiffer learner laws have all been touted as death knells for our little game, and yet here we are still at it. But have you noticed in recent years a tendency in the car industry to play down or ignore speed as a means of attracting customers? These days cars are sold on the quantity of their cupholders and airbags, or even how cuddly they look, rather than their raunchy, trouser-swelling performance. And that's not really on if you're selling bikes. For decades the manufacturers have been ceaselessly engaged in wringing more and more performance out of their machines, knowing that being the fastest wins the sales war. And it would smack of hypocrisy, never mind proving commercial suicidal, if they abandoned that pursuit and all their consequent marketing hyperbole, racing programmes etc. After all 'You Meet The Nicest People On A Honda' was a slogan the biggest of 'em abandoned 35 years ago, and with very good reason. No, most people buy bikes to ride fast, and breaking speed limits is something most of us do when road and traffic conditions suggest that it's safe and prudent... and we can get away with it. But if the general public is genuinely behind the nanny-state's escalating curbs on exercising such individual judgement, then perhaps my whole attitude to motorbicycling has become immorally hypocritical... perhaps to the point of schizophrenia. In which case I'd be happy to re-consider what constitutes responsible journalism provided, of course, that the woman who wrote the story for the Mid Wales Journal also admits that it might be highly inflammatory to misrepresent motorcycle magazine articles on her front page. In the meantime I'm still waiting for her, and her friends in the police force and on the council to excoriate all the local radio stations which routinely alert drivers to mobile speed cameras location, or the broadsheet Sunday newspapers that run adverts for GPS-based devices which warn of impending Gatso. Until then I guess it's good to know that I'm not the only one suffering from dual standards.

The above article is from the October 2003 issue of Motorcycle Trader
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