God it's cold. But then we are in Wales. The 'we' in question being myself and my latest young assistante, Mademoiselle Fifi Le Grande who is of the French persuasion. And despite her delightfully warm personality - which I am doing my utmost to avail myself of - we are cold. But that's because it's Sunday morning and we are supposed to be going trailriding.(A note of explanation here: some readers - well a reader - has questioned why a succession of pert young female aides are arranged decorously around my column inches. Well of course the stresses and strains of being a top-line motorbicycle journalist demand a very specific type of relief which I find can best be achieved in the hands of eager young women who, for some obscure reason, are anxious to supplicate themselves to mature (in every sense of the word) men wearing tight black leather and jackboots. So who am I to argue with the outer reaches of human nature? In fact I seem to be doing them a favour).
Anyway I say 'supposed', because like so many of my activities, this was a consequence of some extravagant pub talk. More specifically, as I and a couple of pals were reflecting over a few brace of foaming brews after visiting November's Dirt Bike Expo. My reader may also recall that this time last year I was mildly excoriating the relatively lacklustre NEC Bike Show and citing the Dirt Bike Expo as proof that a motorcycle show could be exciting and packed to the rafters with happy punters. And this year it was the same.
Well actually it wasn't quite the same, because whilst the 2003 NEC shindig once again failed to light my fire, even on press day the Dirt Expo was packed to the gunnels and a lot of the people there seemed to be newcomers to the sport. Which, you might, (and probably should), say was a wonderful thing to behold.
As I've remarked before, this is the consequence of many things: crippling insurance premiums on super-sports roadsters, draconian traffic policing and the collapse of the scooter market. Indeed as Fifi and I motor around this sceptred isle on my extensively faired 3400cc V-twin Moto-Bimbleton, it's salutary to observe the number of boarded-up scooter emporia.
However I might waspishly surmise that many of their canny, if erstwhile owners have seamlessly moved on and are now opening up bright, new showrooms dedicated to those of us who prefer their rubberwear with knobs on (I'm talking off-road tyres, you salacious scamps). But now there is another incentive for the Great Unwashed to take up trail-riding: Motor Cycle News says it's cool to get dirty. And when MCN gets behind a trend (usually because there's ads to be had), you'd better do as they say.
Unfortunately MCN's gung-ho coverage of the off-road scene is noticeably unhindered by the cautionary advice constantly meted out to readers of the more specialised dirtbike media, namely that our right to ride Britain's thousands of green lanes and mountain trails is under constant and increasing threat. And this threat, whether it is in the guise of local councils downgrading ancient byways to foot or horse (or BMX) traffic, or closing them altogether, is too often the consequence of noisy motorcycles being ridden along them irresponsibly and often illegally. The Trail Riders Fellowship (TRF), a rather stuffy body but nevertheless the only one dedicated to fighting downgrades and closures on our behalf, should be doing more to publicise the threat and implore newcomers to the game to abide by rules that they would certainly be more likely to respect if and when riding on tarmac. But so too, with their massive influence on the riding public should MCN. Look how many more chaps you see pulling wheelies on the A44 these days thanks to MCN's highly authoritative, thoughtfully written guide to reducing front wheel tyre wear.
And the trade can kiss goodbye to a substantial chunk of off-road bike sales. Which is why I wish MCN would apprise their neophyte dirt-riding readers of which ancient tracks they can legally ride on, and maybe execute a simple lesson in reading Ordnance Survey maps so they can identify them. Editorial exhortation to ride responsibly, (ie. not balls out on an un-taxed mota-crosser with an after-market loud pipe), when coming across walkers or horse-riders or near any sort of habitation would also be well advised.
However I think I'm on a loser here because MCN doesn't take any notice of old farts like moi, but I am currently exerting what modest pressure I can on the TRF to lobby the importers into either including a 'Don't Abuse the Rights of Way' type leaflet and a membership form with every new dirtbike sold, levy a quid or three on every such sale for the TRF's vital legal fighting fund, or both.
After all, most dealers are happy to promote tuition and rider safety when suitably incentivised by the MIA, MRA and the MRT A because they know it's in their financial interests to do so. Believe me, the same goes for promoting responsible use of our shrinking offroad resources. Because if something isn't done, and MCN hasn't spotted another lucrative if short-lived trend they and the bike trade can pounce on in the meantime, no-one will be buying trail and enduro bikes simply because there's nowhere left to ride 'em.
And talking of which, I think it is time little Fifi attended to my own shrinking resources, or we will never make it over the Black Mountains to Craswell on my supercharged Dominator Enduro Speciale in time for a long and agreeable lunch at the Bulls Head.